Past two weeks have been exceptionally tough. As I alluded to in my previous post, I have been the target of unfounded fear and hatred by a few select people. Those select people are in positions of power... and it's not ironic that they belong to the so-called dominant culture (mostly male/white/affluent).
I should have gotten a clue early on in the school year when an "anonymous" person complained that I was "pushing a homosexual agenda in the classroom because I had gay posters all over the walls." This comment made its way to my department head, who defended me that indeed I did not. Comically, the only poster I can imagine the person referred to was the "Safe Zone" poster I put up from the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Educator's Network (GLSEN).
But this week, the hatred reached a new low. I was referred to as a pedophile by a school board member. Never could I imagine this kind of insult being hurled in my direction. Unthinkable. This type of hate speech I liken to using the word "bomb" while going through airport security. It's incendiary.
This inflammatory accusation combined with being forced to adhere to rules that were made up just for me--no one else had to follow them--and we really do have a classic, textbook case of institutionalized, systematic discrimination. The truly sad part about all of this is that my students have had a front row seat to everything. None of them ever thought twice about my sexual orientation or gender expression, because it never mattered. It was never an issue in the classroom; therefore, they never cared. All of the hateful words and treatment have been perpetrated by the adults, adults... other teachers and even those in administration.
So, I'm left thinking--do I get a lawyer or just move on. When will we get a fair chance? When will be accepted? When will we stop being the target of people's hatred and prejudice?
Friday, April 26, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
I Know What It's Like...
This past week has been exceptionally difficult for me. I came face to face with institutionalized, systematic discrimination, and my heart is breaking. Don't get me wrong, I've endured hatred and homophobia from people my entire life, so I have developed thick skin out of necessity. For the most part, I just take it and keep driving forward. Ugliness like this says more about the individuals perpetrating it than it says about me personally.
But this past week revealed something more sinister to me. You see, I knew the issue of being gay/being transgendered would not be a big deal to my students, and it hasn't. Youth have a tendency to judge you based on how you treat them. If you treat them like they matter, if you treat them fairly, if you demonstrate a genuine ethic of care about them and their learning---well, they grow to trust and respect you very quickly. But I never expected my own administration to behave the way they have, and sadly, much of it surfaced this past week.
I discovered that about a month ago, several of my students were pulled out of class (individually) and asked several questions about me. I'll refrain from divulging details at this point, but I think you can imagine where this leads. In addition to these private interrogations about me, I also experienced this past week being forced to fulfill special requirements that only apply to me. Requirements that other teachers do not and have not been subjected to fulfill.
My friends, this is what institutionalized, systematic discrimination looks like; this is what it feels like. I have been judged based on other peoples' fears and prejudices (which gain momentum as more join in), rather than by my academic and professional accomplishments. This is a nasty, ugly business, and ultimately, our students pay the consequences, many of which reverberate and last a lifetime.
But this past week revealed something more sinister to me. You see, I knew the issue of being gay/being transgendered would not be a big deal to my students, and it hasn't. Youth have a tendency to judge you based on how you treat them. If you treat them like they matter, if you treat them fairly, if you demonstrate a genuine ethic of care about them and their learning---well, they grow to trust and respect you very quickly. But I never expected my own administration to behave the way they have, and sadly, much of it surfaced this past week.
I discovered that about a month ago, several of my students were pulled out of class (individually) and asked several questions about me. I'll refrain from divulging details at this point, but I think you can imagine where this leads. In addition to these private interrogations about me, I also experienced this past week being forced to fulfill special requirements that only apply to me. Requirements that other teachers do not and have not been subjected to fulfill.
My friends, this is what institutionalized, systematic discrimination looks like; this is what it feels like. I have been judged based on other peoples' fears and prejudices (which gain momentum as more join in), rather than by my academic and professional accomplishments. This is a nasty, ugly business, and ultimately, our students pay the consequences, many of which reverberate and last a lifetime.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Moments We Live For
Despite all the recent interruptions in classroom time throughout the past month, my students have risen to the challenge of writing poetry. For the most part, the majority of my students are a pretty rough crowd. Many are four to five reading levels below their grade level, and as with any given classroom across the U.S., some have motivation and behavioral issues. We've come a long way since the beginning of the year.
Because of NWEA, SBA, Shattered Lives: Every 15 Minutes, and several other scheduling dilemmas that take us out of class, I was told to cut short my poetry unit, which broke my heart since it's my favorite genre. Originally, we were to cover a wide variety of time periods and poets, but given my new directive, I decided to chance it... we would do slam poetry.
We now have two original poems under our belts, and my students blew me away. While still learning about the technical aspects of poetry, many have managed to really master rhyme and rhythm beyond my expectations. Frankly, some of them have the gift. I now realize that they've been holding out on me in their previous writings.
Here's what I think is the difference: I gave them complete freedom to express themselves in these poems--and boy, did they. Some wrote about sex, drugs, and yes rock/rap and rollin. Some wrote about their pain... with the depths of wise old souls. And some wrote about nostalgia as if they've lived to ripe old ages. I have been humbled and amazed all at once. I'm also grateful... grateful that we have bonded on an entirely new level. A couple of them even memorialized me--me--in their poems.
These are the moments we live for. This is why I teach.
Because of NWEA, SBA, Shattered Lives: Every 15 Minutes, and several other scheduling dilemmas that take us out of class, I was told to cut short my poetry unit, which broke my heart since it's my favorite genre. Originally, we were to cover a wide variety of time periods and poets, but given my new directive, I decided to chance it... we would do slam poetry.
We now have two original poems under our belts, and my students blew me away. While still learning about the technical aspects of poetry, many have managed to really master rhyme and rhythm beyond my expectations. Frankly, some of them have the gift. I now realize that they've been holding out on me in their previous writings.
Here's what I think is the difference: I gave them complete freedom to express themselves in these poems--and boy, did they. Some wrote about sex, drugs, and yes rock/rap and rollin. Some wrote about their pain... with the depths of wise old souls. And some wrote about nostalgia as if they've lived to ripe old ages. I have been humbled and amazed all at once. I'm also grateful... grateful that we have bonded on an entirely new level. A couple of them even memorialized me--me--in their poems.
These are the moments we live for. This is why I teach.
Monday, April 8, 2013
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Our Tax Dollars at Work
Coming out of the last two weeks of SBA testing, I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I did not administer any tests to students. My administration does not allow teachers who actually teach the students to administer the test because they fear we might help students cheat. Instead, I spent one week babysitting. Yes, babysitting. The following week, I had so many students absent that on several occasions, I only had one and two students present for classes.
About two weeks prior to the testing, my administration met with our department and instructed us to come up with a curriculum for the freshmen and senior students who would not be testing. This was a little bizarre, considering I do not teach any of these students. Essentially, we were instructed to come up with busy work for these students who I had never encountered before. As one can imagine, this plan was a complete disaster.
I wish I would have recorded that week of school. Parents truly need to know what a waste of time and resources that week actually is for the students who are not testing, at least at my school. I know there are more efficient ways of conducting the days of testing. At least that's what I've heard from teachers at other districts.
I am now behind in my lesson plans, all due to testing. Students will now have a unit severely shortened--a valuable unit of learning--all due to testing. And I am left with so many unanswered questions... when and how did this become the norm? Why has this testing become so significantly important that it overrules actual learning in the classroom? How much is all of this really costing us? Who is really profiting from this? Is the testing really helping the students? And I cannot help but wonder, what happened to the days when students passed a class... passed their grade levels 9-12 that it meant they were proficient to graduate high school.
About two weeks prior to the testing, my administration met with our department and instructed us to come up with a curriculum for the freshmen and senior students who would not be testing. This was a little bizarre, considering I do not teach any of these students. Essentially, we were instructed to come up with busy work for these students who I had never encountered before. As one can imagine, this plan was a complete disaster.
I wish I would have recorded that week of school. Parents truly need to know what a waste of time and resources that week actually is for the students who are not testing, at least at my school. I know there are more efficient ways of conducting the days of testing. At least that's what I've heard from teachers at other districts.
I am now behind in my lesson plans, all due to testing. Students will now have a unit severely shortened--a valuable unit of learning--all due to testing. And I am left with so many unanswered questions... when and how did this become the norm? Why has this testing become so significantly important that it overrules actual learning in the classroom? How much is all of this really costing us? Who is really profiting from this? Is the testing really helping the students? And I cannot help but wonder, what happened to the days when students passed a class... passed their grade levels 9-12 that it meant they were proficient to graduate high school.
Friday, March 15, 2013
Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships
I have come to realize that I work in a school setting that
places process over people. Our district has recently tried to implement a
quality improvement system that was originally designed for a business model,
specifically the medical field. Many organizations tried using it in the 1990s,
and they chucked it after realizing it left out the personal side of the
equation.
The main issue I personally have with the method is that it’s
founded on statistics. All decisions for adjustment in curriculum are driven by
data—that’s it. There’s absolutely no room for the personal, the student.
My head is spinning that my administration is taking such a
huge step back in time in that we are actually paying big money to regress. Our
faculty estimated that the district has paid upwards of $70,000 to the
consultant group that has “taught” us the strategy. I use the term teach very
loosely here. After almost ten sessions, we are no further along than the first
meeting. Yet, we are now out a very large sum of money that could have gone toward purchasing needed textbooks that align with the new common core.
Somewhere along the way in my many discussions with very
intelligent people, I found out about the triangle of success for the modern
school. Imagine a triangle that’s divided into three sections. At the top of
the triangle is rigor. We need rigor and high expectations in our classroom—all
of our classrooms. Low expectations will always produce low results. In the
middle section of the triangle is relevance. We must use subjects in our
lessons that are relevant and real to the students. If they can’t connect with
it on a personal level, then very few of them will invest. Lastly, the bottom
(and the largest portion of the divided triangle) is comprised of
relationships. Personal relationships with students are the most fundamental
ingredient to their success in education. Research shows that students who are
most successful in school have important, personal relationships with at least one
of their teachers or faculty.
At the beginning of every school year, teachers and faculty
should divide up the student body, and every single faculty member is
responsible for intentionally developing a personal relationship with these
students. Every single student must have a faculty member he or she can count
on to talk to about issues or difficulties. Without this safety net—this ethic
of care—data doesn’t mean anything.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
To Confirm or Not Confirm; New Mexico's Hanna Skandera
For a little more than a week, the New Mexico Senate Rules Committee in Albuquerque has been debating the confirmation of Hanna Skandera as New Mexico's Secretary of Education. Many committee members, teachers (current and retired), and administrators have concerns about Skandera's lack of experience in education, as well as her recent overruling of New Mexico's Public Education Department's stance on the use of public funds for private schools.
Although Skandera has years of experience working with educational consulting agencies, she has never worked in a classroom--or a public school. She has never stood in front of a class to teach any subject, and she has never served as an administrator for a school, which severely limits her practical understanding.
This past year, Skandera proposed New Mexico to transition to a new grading system for schools and standards for teacher evaluations, topics that have many educators perplexed by the vagaries and lack of efficacy. If we require our administrators to have at least three years' experience in the classroom as a teacher, why wouldn't we want the same for our secretary of education? Leadership 101 from my military days taught me that the best leaders are those who know what it's like to be in the trenches.
What's most concerning to me is Skandera's relationship with private consulting firms, at least one of which dabbles in private school educational management. I cannot help but wonder if her conflict of interest overrode her self-proclaimed concern to "do what's best for the students" when she decided to tell private charter schools that she personally endorsed their receiving public funds, effectively negating the opposing ruling given by the PED, which had already ruled against private charter schools being publicly funded.
Organizing and running our public schools under "best-practices business models" does not work. It will never work, because it is not a money-making business. It's not a production-based factory, and students are not products. Here's hoping our Senate Rules Committee stands firm for ethics.
Although Skandera has years of experience working with educational consulting agencies, she has never worked in a classroom--or a public school. She has never stood in front of a class to teach any subject, and she has never served as an administrator for a school, which severely limits her practical understanding.
This past year, Skandera proposed New Mexico to transition to a new grading system for schools and standards for teacher evaluations, topics that have many educators perplexed by the vagaries and lack of efficacy. If we require our administrators to have at least three years' experience in the classroom as a teacher, why wouldn't we want the same for our secretary of education? Leadership 101 from my military days taught me that the best leaders are those who know what it's like to be in the trenches.
What's most concerning to me is Skandera's relationship with private consulting firms, at least one of which dabbles in private school educational management. I cannot help but wonder if her conflict of interest overrode her self-proclaimed concern to "do what's best for the students" when she decided to tell private charter schools that she personally endorsed their receiving public funds, effectively negating the opposing ruling given by the PED, which had already ruled against private charter schools being publicly funded.
Organizing and running our public schools under "best-practices business models" does not work. It will never work, because it is not a money-making business. It's not a production-based factory, and students are not products. Here's hoping our Senate Rules Committee stands firm for ethics.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
The System Is Killing Us
Our State Based Assessment (SBA) is coming up soon--yet another week will be stolen from the classroom. Administration is already hovering over us, asking us to teach to the test in order to "prepare our students." A few days ago I was asked, "What are you doing to prepare your students for the SBA." I was glad other teachers jumped in to answer the question, because my answer would have caused problems. My natural response to a question like that is something along the lines... I thought what we do all year long prepares them for assessments.
Needless to say, I will not be implementing drill-and-kill vocabulary. I do not plan to hand out past SBA tests for students to practice taking them in class. Nor will I give any lengthy lessons on the so-called ACE/RACE short answer response technique. Instead, I have devoted my class instructional time to exactly what my unit/lesson plans have indicated (which we turn in to administration): reading comprehension, critical thinking, contextual vocabulary, writing to enhance critical thinking, research, presenting research in a formal manner, and much, much more.
In addition to the implication that I should teach to the test, I have been told that someone else (who does not teach my students any subject) will be administering the SBA to them. Boom <-- that's my mind being blown. Furthermore, one of the people who will be administering the SBA to my students, sadly, has revealed themselves (improper pronoun use here is intentional to avoid gender revelation) to have their own, ugly agenda.
Never mind the argument that Hanna "Montana" Skandera (New Mexico's acting education secretary and who has never been in the classroom) is currently implementing an evaluation system that relies on MY students' standardized test scores to evaluate my teaching effectiveness (I'll save this gem for another blog). And never mind that neither the current SBA nor our textbooks match up with the newly implemented Common Core Standards. What really infuriates me is that an overwhelming amount of research demonstrates that students perform better on these types of tests when they are administered by their own teacher. So, why in the world is my administration refusing to set my students up for success?!
At first, I thought maybe my administration was just uninformed, didn't know the research out there showing that students feel more comfortable with a teacher who knows them and has a trusted relationship with them. Then I discover, other teachers have been fighting this issue for the last few years. The administration is purposefully organizing testing this way! At this point, I am at a complete loss for words.
Needless to say, I will not be implementing drill-and-kill vocabulary. I do not plan to hand out past SBA tests for students to practice taking them in class. Nor will I give any lengthy lessons on the so-called ACE/RACE short answer response technique. Instead, I have devoted my class instructional time to exactly what my unit/lesson plans have indicated (which we turn in to administration): reading comprehension, critical thinking, contextual vocabulary, writing to enhance critical thinking, research, presenting research in a formal manner, and much, much more.
In addition to the implication that I should teach to the test, I have been told that someone else (who does not teach my students any subject) will be administering the SBA to them. Boom <-- that's my mind being blown. Furthermore, one of the people who will be administering the SBA to my students, sadly, has revealed themselves (improper pronoun use here is intentional to avoid gender revelation) to have their own, ugly agenda.
Never mind the argument that Hanna "Montana" Skandera (New Mexico's acting education secretary and who has never been in the classroom) is currently implementing an evaluation system that relies on MY students' standardized test scores to evaluate my teaching effectiveness (I'll save this gem for another blog). And never mind that neither the current SBA nor our textbooks match up with the newly implemented Common Core Standards. What really infuriates me is that an overwhelming amount of research demonstrates that students perform better on these types of tests when they are administered by their own teacher. So, why in the world is my administration refusing to set my students up for success?!
At first, I thought maybe my administration was just uninformed, didn't know the research out there showing that students feel more comfortable with a teacher who knows them and has a trusted relationship with them. Then I discover, other teachers have been fighting this issue for the last few years. The administration is purposefully organizing testing this way! At this point, I am at a complete loss for words.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Deadly Consequences of Fear
Fear... Fear seems to be an overwhelming feeling in the air where I teach. Within the past two weeks, the entire school has been directed to "report any rumors to administration." Morning announcements have warned students that they "can get in trouble for mean looks or staring." Sad, I know.
I distinctly remember reading a section in Dennis Littky's book, The Big Picture, about a school that banned hugging. Administration at this particular school feared the consequences of student PDA (student-to-student hugging) and also feared potential inappropriate agendas from some adults (staff/faculty-to-student hugging). I wholeheartedly agree with Littky's take on the issue--what the hell is wrong with us as a society when we have become AFRAID of hugging?! Banning weapons = good. Banning hugging = ludicrous. What kind of message are we sending when we are too afraid to show that we care about each other in a school environment?
Don't get me wrong. Pedophilia is reprehensible, and teen pregnancy is a serious issue. But should these two issues lead us to fear hugging in an educational environment? This type of paranoia kills a supportive learning environment. Or am I to write up the next student who gives me the evil eye?
I refuse to give in to paranoia and fear in any place of my employment. I've already been to war once, so short of that environment, I will not fear going to work. But the day I start to fear dirty looks or students who stare is the day I need to become a hermit, to never leave the house and simply withdraw from civilization. We do not live in a military state, nor will I make my classroom one. Fear and paranoia have no place in my classroom, non-negotiable.
I distinctly remember reading a section in Dennis Littky's book, The Big Picture, about a school that banned hugging. Administration at this particular school feared the consequences of student PDA (student-to-student hugging) and also feared potential inappropriate agendas from some adults (staff/faculty-to-student hugging). I wholeheartedly agree with Littky's take on the issue--what the hell is wrong with us as a society when we have become AFRAID of hugging?! Banning weapons = good. Banning hugging = ludicrous. What kind of message are we sending when we are too afraid to show that we care about each other in a school environment?
Don't get me wrong. Pedophilia is reprehensible, and teen pregnancy is a serious issue. But should these two issues lead us to fear hugging in an educational environment? This type of paranoia kills a supportive learning environment. Or am I to write up the next student who gives me the evil eye?
I refuse to give in to paranoia and fear in any place of my employment. I've already been to war once, so short of that environment, I will not fear going to work. But the day I start to fear dirty looks or students who stare is the day I need to become a hermit, to never leave the house and simply withdraw from civilization. We do not live in a military state, nor will I make my classroom one. Fear and paranoia have no place in my classroom, non-negotiable.
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Response to Student Protest
I am so proud of the students from Providence. The video below demonstrates their passion for social justice, their recognition of the inaccuracies of standardized testing, their courage to speak up... and their use of technology to document their efforts. The fact that I teach in a rural part of New Mexico, yet I have access to what these students are doing in Providence speaks volumes about our capabilities. We need to be inspired by these students and take action ourselves. We should be promoting critical thinking in our classrooms... dare I say, Free Thinking!
Friday, February 8, 2013
Sunday, February 3, 2013
I Support the Garfield High School Teachers in Seattle
I have never understood the logic behind standardized
testing, nor do I see myself ever being swayed to that dark side either. Even
before I ventured into the public school classroom as a teacher, I had already
experienced my own issues with standardized testing and knew they were skewed.
At least at the university level, they seem to understand the inaccuracies of
these tests, so one can demonstrate abilities or knowledge through other
means. This incongruence begs the
question—why the hell hasn’t our public schools K-12 come to their senses
yet?
By the end of this school year, I will have given up almost
six weeks of valuable classroom time to administer some sort of standardized
test to my students. That’s six weeks’ worth of learning opportunities straight
down the toilet.
The last test I administered was two weeks ago. My students
and I were stuck in a computer lab that we had to share with other classes, and
the heating/air conditioning system was not functioning properly. If I had to
guess, temperatures wavered between 80-90 degrees throughout the day. As I
expected, many students were lethargic and struggled to just stay awake, let
alone concentrate on readings and questions about language usage and reading
comprehension.
Parents need to become informed because they are the only
ones who can legally boycott these tests without legal repercussions. The role
these tests have taken on in our education system has not been by accident. And
frankly, a very small group of people is making considerable amounts of money (tax dollars) from our nation’s schools that require these tests.
Please stand up and support your teachers. You can begin by
supporting the Garfield High School teachers in Seattle, WA: http://www.democracynow.org/2013/1/29/seattles_teacher_uprising_high_school_faculty
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Sunday Blues
Almost every Sunday, I go through the same dilemma... to grade or not to grade. Indeed, the amount of grading is our achilles heel in ELA, but in a sick and twisted way, we revel in the misery of it. A very wise mentor once told me that when the essays or papers are of such quality that you want to throw them across the room, simply pull out a nice bottle of wine to accompany your challenge and remember three things: 1) Never correct students' mistakes; 2) Only focus on a few of the issues; and 3) Perhaps most importantly, always give encouragement about something. I have discovered that a St. Clair's Riesling goes very well with literature analysis, and when looking at journals, you can never go wrong with a Gewurztraminer.
I happily choose this dilemma over some of my colleagues' coping strategies. Apparently, some of them just don't assign writing assignments to begin with, taking care of the pesky nuisance of this grading stuff. While it may sound tempting on the surface, I can't help but think about my students trying to complete a college or job application in a few years--for some in a few months--and know that living with the guilt that some of theirs would go straight to the garbage can due to errors would wreck my sleep. So, yes, I may curse and complain every Sunday afternoon (before I pop the cork), but I would much rather be known as one of those teachers who drinks and swears than a lazy one who never writes (because we should write with our students too) or assigns writing assignments. Happy grading!
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